Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
