I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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