listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
