sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
