and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
