I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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