Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
