I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
