no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize