I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
