i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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