So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
