We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
