At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
