Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
