Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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