My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
