I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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