i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she smelled like a LAN party
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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