I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
