Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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