Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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