oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
