Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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