i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
