You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
