i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
