just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
