I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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