if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
