one two three fourrrrnication!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
