i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
