he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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