OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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