That's intense
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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