sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
