To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize