Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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