Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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