haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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