We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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