the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he fucked my hip out of place.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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