You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
