I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize