Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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