the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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