I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this will be a night to untag.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
