I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
