he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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