Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
