ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
