No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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