Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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