we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
