you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
