The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
