why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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