In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
