ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
