I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize