At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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