I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The power of my boobs compel you
i believe in u and ur pee
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
