are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
