Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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