We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
