Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
