He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
