According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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